a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
