Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
