I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
