I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
