drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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