I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
