I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
