they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just want nice things and good sex
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
