i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Terrible idea I love it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
