If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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