Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I skipped work to stalk him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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