bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
