I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
