He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
