Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
