You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
