Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize