he was CRYING into my vagina
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
