it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
