Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize