I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
