Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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