it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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