Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
