Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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