Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
