I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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