hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it because I queefed?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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