I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
