I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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