marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
