is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
