I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
