We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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