I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
