looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
