I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
