i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
