Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
