I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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