He had one of those small greek statue penises
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize