K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
