Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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