Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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