Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
