Apparently you make a good broom.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
