it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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