my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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