I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
