Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
