And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
