Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
