I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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