Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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