Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
