it was like his penis was on wheels.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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