Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
