it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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