yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
