If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
