so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
