Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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