I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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