It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Mom said you looked used
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
