I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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