Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
